Hey all,

Well I was just going over some old music in my archive and SUDDENLY the thought that the Bonnaroo Music Festival in Manchester, Tenn is coming up on June 11-14. For $224.50 I can get General Admission tickets. I am SERIOUSLY thinking about buying the tickets right now. I have the means, and the way. WHY WOULD I NOT?! Shit, I haven't had the opportunity to go to a festival yet in my life, and being about 77 miles from Manchester, TN (host site of Bonnaroo) why would I not do this? I am trying to talk myself into it right now. I don't have anything to lose, and NO reason not to go. Main reason to go: Paul Oakenfold will be there. Last year I missed Tiesto and Oakenfold, but this year Tiesto will not be there, but Oakenfold will!! Also last year I missed Sigur Ros. A Grave disappointment to me. However, this year I have the chance and I have to jump on it. Other bands that will be there will be Phish, NIN, Beastie Boys, Snoop Dogg, Al Green, moe., Public Enemy, Govt Mule, Bela Fleck, Galactic, Ben Harper, and MANY others. Enough music for 4 days and nights worth of entertainment. I have wanted to go to a Festival since about 2005 when the whole indie music scene was presented to me in full force. That is about the ONE thing I can thank Dawn for. So, I am PRETTY SURE I will be buying these tickets in the next 24 hours and taking proper preparations for time off work. I am absolutely EXCITED about this. I won't miss it this time.

The ultimate achievement for attending a music festival in my life won't be achieved until I attend the Coachella Music Festival in Indio, California. That is the premier electronic music festival in the United States. They feature my favorites every single year. It would be an absolute dream to go to that festival. Being about 2000 miles away, makes it a little difficult to do though. So maybe next year.

I am making a couple of pretty cool friends down here, and I went over to this dude's house yesterday to watch the Kentucky Derby. It was pretty fun. He is a great guy. So these new friends I am making are nothing like the friends from my past. It took me long enough to make new friends though. This is the first time in my life I have had to do it solely on my own. Without the aid of already knowing somebody in a place I live. As I get older, I just keep to myself a lot. I am really reserved, and I don't trust ANYbody without some serious proof that you are worth my time. That is a good way to not get fucked over, or at least it is my way of trying to avoid anything like was presented in my past. Things are going pretty well in that area of my life.

Tomorrow I am taking a trip to Mammoth Cave with my Dad. It is the longest cave system known in the world. It is about 80 miles each way. It should be fun. I know it's a cave and how much fun could it possibly be. I don't know. I just wanted to take a short road trip to get out of the city again for a short bit. It is also something recreational that I can do with my Dad. We don't do much anymore since about 2 months ago when I exploded and told him I wasn't going to come around anymore for a long time because he is a robot controlled by his wife who doesn't know right from wrong it seems. So ever since then we talk about once a week for just a couple of minutes and that's it. It just seems like a total waste of my time to live here any more now. Since that was the primary reason I moved here is to spend a portion of my life with him before it's too late. He is getting older now and his health is ok, but seems to be deteriorating slowly since his open heart surgery about 10 years ago now.

Also, Amy that lives in South Dakota will (apparently) be moving here coming in the next 2 weeks or so. She seems a little bit leary about it, but at this point she doesn't have much of a choice. She is running out of places to go and her life just continues to fall apart up there. I really pray for her well being. I don't know how she goes on sometimes. She has had a hard life. It will be nice to have her here though. A person I've known for a while, and can relate to. Not that I don't that, but I do not have people I've known very long that I can talk to about anything, here. I will actually be going to Sioux Falls, South Dakota in about 2 weeks time with my Dad's van to help gather her things and return to Nashville the very next day. I will probably be awake for nearly 3 days straight just to be able to do this for her. I am not taking any time off work to do this. I will leave the night after I get off work at 6pm on Wednesday and drive 12 hours straight to get there. Then I have to be back at work on Friday by 8am. So I will be going there and turning right around to come back. It will be a nice trip, but quick nonetheless.

Amie finally contacted me, and just 3 days after I had finally broken down to ask her what the deal was and if we would ever talk again, what I did to cause this, or any information about why this was happening at all. She simply just stopped coming around, and totally dropped contact with me. I didn't really try to restore it that much but one of the last times we talked she said, "Can't a person just do their own thing and that be ok?" So that pretty much told me to leave it be. Then coincidentally, she did NOT get my email, then emailed me on her own about 3 days after I emailed her asking if I could get ahold of her because she needed someone to talk to, thinking I didn't want to talk to her...? I can't explain that, but needless to say she is hands down the most important person to me outside of my family. So I definitely asked her why she would think I wouldn't want to talk to her. It was me that thought she didn't want to talk to ME...Is it safe to say that we lost 9 MORE months of time being out of touch because of a misunderstanding? I would hate to think so, we've already lost enough time as it is. If only it were possible to have kept in touch with her this whole time, the whole 11 or so years we've known each other, who knows where I would be right now if that were the case. It's too late for regrets. I just look forward to the future now...I don't know what else to say or expect right now so we'll see what she says when she gets back..tonight I guess...Hopefully will talk to her tomorrow.

Angie fell off the map, as I expected after I told her that I had a pint sized crush on her. Even though we both agreed to not let it come between our friendship, this is exactly how I expected it to go. We were supposedly some of the best of friends. We both held each other in some of the "Better of my friends" category but I guess with her thinking it was me that was in error this time, we haven't been in touch since I left Iowa about...oh...a month ago, little less. For about the first time in my life I can say it wasn't me who fucked up the situation this time, and it won't be me who apologizes for anything. She is pretty stubborn about apologizing, or even admitting error in herself in any way. So I expect it will be SOME TIME before we talk again. She needs to figure out quite a few things I think, and after this last time up there, it's apparent she doesn't listen to my advice. What ever happened to you wanting to quit drinking Angie? You apparently wanted to do it so bad, what happened there? What happened to wanting to improve your life or yourself? You went right against that in front of my face...You think I LIKE seeing that? I want good things for you, certainly not the way things went. Anyways, if you ever want to talk, I will be right here waiting. I definitely miss you, so get ahold of me...